Sunday, June 12, 2011

Rewrite History Today !!!

It's Easy !

Throw on something pretty & follow this simple recipe...

First you will need:

One large bowl
One Pastry whip

To be white
To join the republican or tea party
To become a catholic or evangelical christian
You must have enough delusion on hand so that you have an equal amount left over when you are done
A few bigoted friends that will swear in a court of law, with their hand on a bible, that they are not bigots
The capability to maintain an attitude beyond any reason
A pinch salt
To loose any and all sense of dignity 
Severe hatred for those that disagree with you; (You may substitute an equal amount of disdain for truth if you don't have severe hatred on hand)
A narrow mind


Grease bowl with narrow mind
Add remaining ingredients 
Swiftly and deftly whip together until they turn to the consistency of a Barton-Santorum
If you desire a lighter, flakier rewrite, then whip to the consistency of a Bachmann-Palin

Place bowl in front of FOX NEWS CHANNEL for one news cycle....

There you have it -
My recipe for Rewrite Evil Twit Shit.

xoxox to Princess for the very astute & helpful critique! 


  1. Do I bake this in the Fires of Hell?

  2. Princess - Oh! You mean FOX news... Yes, you bake it there!

  3. I might use my EZ Bake Oven for this one, you don't want it to burn and look like the wrong color, either.

  4. MY God! You guys made me laugh so hard I almost pee in my pants... oh no!... I did pee in my pants!

    Er... don't wanna sounds fussy but what does the "viola" have to do with this? OH! You meant VOILÀ! :)
    I know, I'm being rude. Slap me! ;)

  5. DeepBlue - Comedy is always a risk....

  6. You're so funny when you're stoned, Stephen....
    Sorry to hear of your affliction.
    It's been going around, I've noticed.
    Get well soon.