Let's get one thing straight....

We are the chaperone -

And no one chaperones the chaperone....

Happy twenty-eleven....

Sometimes we think the same.....

no less...

qw

If in NYC and you need to go way off Broadway......

BE SURE TO WEAR YOUR BOOTS...

Never mind his closet, stay away from his apartment...

Hell, his street....

Shit,

just stay close to Broadway.

qw

A Queens' queen that ended up playing Queens' king....

Carroll O'Connor

An Elmhurst Queen -

That most of us...

just call - "Archie".

&

Lest we forget the lovely Beverly La Salle....

the funniest part is in the first four minutes

a couple of things worth pointing out...

Carroll was born into a liberal family & was a liberal his whole life.

Norman Lear set the show in Queens after hearing Carroll's accent.

The film used in the closing credits is not of NYC, but of Buffalo, New York, (as we recollect).

Looks like Louise likes her picture taken.....

we think that's why she picked that outfit...

qw

Call it a hunch...

Ba-Doom-Ching!

We couldn't tell .....

No.

Really..

Thank You; Thank You very much...

We did not say that any of you could come into our bedroom; except for Elvis, here, and that's not any of you alls business. Is it?

Still - desperately trying to blend in -

Is IT working???

SURPISE!!!

YES! We are going to slap the shit out of you....

Here We Come.

The really disturbing thing is...

Some people actually paid money for this....

& 

We can't help but wonder...

What the most popular size was?

NewYork,,,,NewYork.......

This could very easily be yours...




December 2010 Blizzard Timelapse from Michael Black on Vimeo.

...A loud, collective sigh...

Funny!

We always like to wear white polyester basket-bunchers too,

whenever we do a bit of stalking....

RUN ANDY! RUN!

A real Toe-Tapper....

Don't be making fun over Cissy & Bobby...
leave my peeps alone!


For my Butt-Boyfriends...


qw

Thanks for the snow-job, fella

Oy!

Such snow this year, three major storms in 2010...

Last night brought Central Park thirteen inches, here in Queens we estimate around sixteen inches, plus it has space here to cause major drifts, considering the violent winds.

This morning after we were sitting up, having coffee, and after tending to the "busted boiler", we decided it was time to tackle the shovel & snow....

So we collected the shovel and opened the garden gate to this:

these are the ten steps up to the street...

All that white stuff is snow, (I know it's a lousy camera), we had to bring the snow into our hallway, so that we could get out of our apartment in order to shovel the snow...

After we dug ourselves out and got up to the street we became more thankful over the situation....

The other side, "the sunny side of the street",  had drifts over five feet tall, and that, upon their sidewalks..

(thankfully, we are not the poor, pitiful, bastard shoveling over there).

The City is merciless & will want us to move the car tomorrow....

Where?.... 

Welcome to New York!

That will be $65.00

Thanks alot.

qw

BOXING!!!

DID YOU HEAR THAT GEORGE???

happy boxing day...

Blizzard in Queens & A Mae West from the East....

This blizzard has not only snow & wind,

But plenty of thunder & lightning as well....

about six inches right now.

& Much like Mae, we adore men in uniforms, especially when they have props....

So glad that mishegoss is over...

Things can get back to normal around here...

finding work,

doing chores,

entertaining guests,

and romance.

A five pound box of money...

'cause all we want is a lil' bit of the fruit...
and cha cha heels, black...

Oh, and santa, don't let the flue hit you in the ass on your way out.

Blizzard warnings for NYC-

this was earlier this year...

Oh shit!
The boiler is on the fritz & we are getting a little old for that fucking shovel...
(around this building we are known as "super wally")

qw

Yule logs

Yul log

Perhaps, a fragment of undercooked potatoe....

...just like every other christmas before...

oh dear

What about Lindsey Buckingham anyway?

at least we know what we are getting...

at least we knew what we had...

...it...

No vaginas, but a awful lot of "V"'s

give Edith a mantilla & a title ....

looks like she already gotz dick...

More then we do..
Eh?

Honestly, how could anyone do a remake of True Grit?

all we can say about this is...
Santa's Ass

blinking blue baby jesus....

Eight or nine years ago we took over a somewhat large installment of holiday decorations for who would become our favorite client in queens, in a village known at the time of its inception as "Hollywood East"...

We really needed the cash at the time, (and the client),  and it is fun, (mini bar in the garage, yes, there are several vintages of Dom), albeit labor intensive... and we finally positioned the Vatican sanctioned, gauche, plastic manger, (evidently the baby Jesus was born proportioned as an post pubescent youth).....

...and...

THE BULB  IS BURNED OUT!

I manage to find only one bulb of this size; the bulb is blue and it blinks...

We informed the Important, Wealthy, Italian, Catholic, Lady of the House, that indeed, Jesus was blinking blue.....

She chortled...

And thought that this was just fine!

Then she handed me a wad of cash as she drove me back home; I gave her a succulent imported ginger candy.

& now the baby adolescent Jesus is still blinking blue, some nine years later...

we rock!

qw

just trying to blend in-

we are fairly certain, this year, no one will take notice of us.

qw

Mmmm...

...As long as you love us so....

We'll have what she's having...
She is soo fucking happy!
(there is more to the story, but we have to wait for a friend-of-ours to die.)...
STAY TUNED....



we've always adored self=possessed women ,,, & their boyfriends......

qw

hint: google missing oscars

Ya know that feeling you get when....

.... you are doing a bit of Tumblring and you come across a photo of someone you know...

... wanking?

Well, we have that feeling....

Meet our first room-mate from in this apartment, (about eight years ago), we will call him "Vincent"...

Vincent is a straight Parisian fella that waits tables in Manhattan. He liked to smoke pot mixed with tobacco and run around the apartment in his tighties but not whities. He also used to do this adorable, "little-jumps-up-and-down-three-times" thing that he would use for emphasis.....

God, we miss him.

He still lives in the neighborhood & stopped by maybe six weeks ago, (the straight ones always come back!), we think we told him of this blog, but we're not sure.....

If we did, we are fairly certain we will have a knock on the door shortly....

Gl'amour, Gl'amour.

qw

psst... not a showa; a growa.

oo! & dolly tej riah!

we couldn't agree with you more....

Poor, Georgie-Porridgie, Put-Up-On PIE...

... when the conversation moves to muscle...

how to wear a bikini - #101

A Ra Quel Must See

we were looking for the scene at the end when she is running from the bull.....
you know, the one where her body-double makes us look like like a size two?
(and didn't even bother to shave her legs? But the drag was fabu!)

enjoy this..
it is juicy!
(glad it's not in english).

qw

... nothing like a Spanish girl that immerses her hair in peroxide.

but you love red cabbage, Ralphie...

See... this is why we hate all of our boyfriends....

HEY!
all our real life friends, watch this and comment even as a guest....
how in god's green hell, did we not even know this existed?
we mean,  
please?



Talk about Wally Porn....

one for the girls....

GROO VEE

what about Jan Michael Vincent, anyway....?....

?

we are Floridian by birth, (not New York south.)

... so there is a little Floridaphilia going on....

 OK...

 Ahh...

YES!
we know he turned out to be a bit of a handful, (and that, not in the groovy way.), but at the time...
OH! GOOD GOD DAMN!
BUDDY!
Can I lick your comb?

qw

and don't even try it peenee....
we saw this one first...
you were probably "busy" at the time..

WE thought we told you NEVER to bother us while we are busy ...

GETTING UP!

why our elbows alone take up nearly three martinis.

then there are brows to pluck...

and we don't know what our dearest, oldest friend did with our favorite

SHOES?

oh, the sacrifices we make in order to remain perfect...

qw

thanks Joe.My.God. for the pumps on a wire

but we said, "no, no, no, no, no"!

as we really just don't have the time...

qw

welcome to the 1980's United States!

DADT 

REPEALED
63-33
update:
65-31
two more republicans offered their yeas, (guess they wanted to be remembered for being on the equitable side of history).

an oxymoron or just a plain old moron?

Michele Bachmann has won an appointment to....

(Drum roll)....

The House Intelligence Committee 

YES...

we feel much safer now...

a certifiable lunatic making decisions on global import...

a little cake for the sagittarius element -

because we can...

...and because we must.

qw